Last week Putin told a joke and the whole world laughed, except for America.
This was remarkable.
Have you noticed that there aren’t a lot of jokes in foreign policy? Jokes have to be told in the same language for both parties, which is hard in foreign policy.
(There are not a lot of jokes in boxing either. Different punch lines… sorry.)
So foreign policy jokes have to be not what you say, they have to be what you do .
A couple of weeks ago, Trump invited Putin (a spy during the Cold War who Trump admires and has assured us is his BFF) to meet as a guest of America in Alaska. He was given the red carpet treatment: gun salutes went off, he rode in the presidential limousine with his friend the American president, and received full and complete respect from the American military.
He had been invited by our president to negotiate the end of Putin’s takeover of Ukraine, a free country and ally of the United States.
Putin accepted this invitation, held a press conference upon arrival on American soil, then skipped the planned meetings and flew back home before lunch. Then he bombed the hell out of Ukraine.
Trump declared victory. Now that’s funny!
We are all safe because Trump will always get the last laugh. Ask him. He’ll tell you. I’ve never seen him laugh, but I’m sure he’s funny.
Several weeks later, Putin joined a parade in China with North Korea and some other Eagle Scouts of the totalitarian world to celebrate the 50th anniversary of the end of the Second World War and the defeat of Japan, without inviting Trump.
But in the alternative, the world‘s antidemocratic countries invited India, the largest democracy in the world and an American trading partner upon whom Trump had recently artfully imposed 50% tariffs, which drove India into the arms of the totalitarian world leaders.
It’s hilarious because obviously Trump got the last laugh, showing off his well-known genius for “the Art of the Deal.”
It was kind of like a junior high school “mean girl” movie and Trump was the only girl not invited to the party. What really made the joke work was Trump made it look like his feelings had not been hurt. It was a perfect foreign policy joke because his actions spoke louder than words. He definitely got the last laugh.
I used to think he wasn’t subtle.
We have midterm elections coming up in a year, so guess why Trump brings in the military and plants them in Los Angeles, Chicago, and our nation’s capital, Washington DC. My guess is all the polling stations will be guarded by his police by the midterms, so we can happily celebrate our Constitution.
Why shouldn’t we believe the President of the United States? The economy must be safe even though the deficit has skyrocketed with his tax cuts for the rich, because he also has doubled his net worth over the last nine months since he was elected, so that he is now worth $5 billion.
Ya see? He’s one hell of a businessman and he’s also president of the United States. He must be an excellent straight-faced jokester because I’ve never seen him laugh.
His best jokes are often at our own expense. Nobody’s threatened and everyone seems to believe that the military buildup in our major cities isn’t really serious and, do we really even need those midterms anyway?
It’s the art of the joke.
Because Trump has been so funny, we should set up a joke in return and see how he responds.
Let’s get Congress to vote against funding the government in exchange for bringing back our democracy to make America truly great again.
Maybe that will give us all the last laugh.